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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28889148">your pain, what is it hiding?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/antlsepticeye/pseuds/antlsepticeye'>antlsepticeye</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>desirecomics's egoverse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Jacksepticeye Power Hour (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Injury, Gen, Hallucinations, Kinda?, Mild Blood, Nightmares, Non-Graphic Violence, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Triggers, also the trigger isn't like the exact trigger but it Does trigger memories so it Is a trigger, and his trauma from anti comes back in memories, anti is a bastard, i'm claiming that tag now, it isnt too graphic but like... godspeed to marvin, its just anti being a bastard, listen marvin basically wakes up and hallucinates blood all over him, marvin panics a LOT in this so heads up for that, oh this ones a doozy, that 5 things you can see technique</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:53:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28889148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/antlsepticeye/pseuds/antlsepticeye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Marvin will sometimes wake up from a nightmare with a silent scream. His voice being held back by the sensation of his neck being cut. [...] He doesn’t tell the others that he has phantom pains, or that he remembers what it was like to be possessed by Anti, that he remembers the sensation of a knife in his hands and how he could perfectly describe the feeling of a blade sinking into another person’s skin."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Antisepticeye &amp; Marvin the Magnificent (Jacksepticeye Power Hour), Jameson Jackson &amp; Marvin the Magnificent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>desirecomics's egoverse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>your pain, what is it hiding?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i'm back once more with another fic for @desirecomics / zoe's egoverse because i am Obsessed &lt;3 !!!</p><p>the art that inspired it this time : https://twitter.com/desirecomics/status/1348421469517221889?s=20<br/>the summary is the same as what's in the replies !</p><p>and yet another twist is here -- this time, with jameson!</p><p>massive heads up for constant panicking from marvin, which includes long run on sentences of marvin's brain basically going brrrr</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “wake up, kitty mage.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> marvin’s eyes snapped open, and he jerked away at the bright green eyes peering down at him. he thought he didn’t have to see those eyes again, that he was finally </em> <span class="u"> <em> gone </em> </span> <em> but— </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “surprised to see me?” anti chuckled, twirling his knife between his fingers. “don’t be like that. why, i would’ve thought you would’ve </em> <span class="u"> <em> loved </em> </span> <em> to see me! you </em> <span class="u"> <em> did </em> </span> <em> set me free, after all…” </em></p><p> </p><p><em>marvin grimaced at the reminder, moving to lift his hands and defend himself with a spell. but he frowned when he felt his arms being held back, and he finally looked down at himself, fear dawning down on him as he realized he was tied up. they weren’t even normal bonds —</em> <em>he had seen and used these before, ones that were meant to restrain one’s magic — and here he was on the receiving end this time — </em><span class="u"><em>fuck</em></span><em>.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “what do you even want from me?” marvin hissed, mind racing as he tried to think of a way to break free. “i’ve already freed you, what more could you fuckin’ want?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “oh, kitty’s got a potty mouth on him! two can play that game.” anti grinned down at him, pointing his knife at marvin. “what more could i fuckin’ want? easy. you freeing me was only step one in this plan. you’re still a pretty fuckin’ puppet, strings tied up around my fingers so tightly you couldn’t escape even if you fuckin’ wanted to. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “isn’t it so ironic that you’re already all tied up in front of me now?” anti added, tone sickeningly soft as he crouched down in front of marvin to be at eye-level with him. his eyes were glowing even brighter than before, glinting dangerously in the low light of the room. “you act like you’re all high and mighty with your pretty and flashy magic, hiding behind your little card tricks. what will that do against me? you couldn’t even resist my influence to </em> <span class="u"> <em> release me </em> </span> <em> , so caught up in your desire to prove that you’re </em> <span class="u"> <em> worth something </em> </span> <em> . what makes you think you can hold up against me in a battle, </em> <span class="u"> <em> joker </em> </span> <em> ?” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> marvin flinched at the reminder of his joker spell, squeezing his eyes shut and taking in a deep, shaky breath before opening his eyes once more. his gaze connected with anti’s, ignoring the warning signs in the back of his mind at the slowly growing static filling his head. “what is even your end goal with all of this? what kind of shit are you trying to pull?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “that’s something you don’t need to worry your pretty little head about,” anti chuckled, standing up straight again. he shifted the knife in his hands, twirling the tip against his fingertip with a grin. “puppets don’t get to question their positions in plans.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “fucking </em> <span class="u"> <em> answer </em> </span> <em> me!” marvin growled, jerking in his restraints and feeling the agitation bubbling within him at his magical buildup, none of them magic being able to be released because of his restraints. “what the hell do you want?!" </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “i said </em> <em> <span class="u">don’t question me</span>! </em> <em> ” anti roared, arm swinging as he lashed out, his knife dangerously close to slicing marvin’s face. anti’s eyes had turned black in his anger, knife gripped tightly in his fist. he was shaking with barely contained rage, his form glitching violently in response to his emotions. “ </em> <em> l<span class="u">ook at me, magician.</span> </em> <em> ” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> marvin’s gaze flickered back over to anti, suddenly enthralled by the blacks of anti’s eyes. the light static that was beginning to buzz in his brain suddenly rose and crashed over him like waves, and marvin began to feel numb all over despite the brief panic in the back of his pain.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> he just felt… warm and numb.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> there was nothing for him to worry about. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> anti was safe (anti? safe? how— how could anti be safe?) and wouldn’t hurt marvin (how would marvin be sure, where did these thoughts come from—). </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> anti grinned and slowly stalked back over to marvin, twirling his knife in his hand. marvin was slumped over despite his brain </em> <span class="u"> <em> screaming </em> </span> <em> at him to pay attention to anti and his movements, but he just felt oddly </em> <em> safe </em> <em> (why was he feeling safe he </em> <span class="u"> <em> shouldn’t </em> </span> <em> feel safe this was </em> <span class="u"> <em> anti </em> </span> <em> this was the demon that haunted marvin’s dreams he shouldn’t be feeling </em> <span class="u"> <em> safe </em> </span> <em> —) </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “you’re awfully noisy for a puppet who’s supposedly obedient,” anti mused quietly, grabbing a fistful of marvin’s hair and tilting his head back. the grin never left his face as he lightly dragged the knife down marvin’s face, from his temple to his cheekbone down to tracing his jaw. it was light enough to not draw blood, but enough pressure to make marvin subconsciously shudder at the feeling of the knife in fear. “you shouldn’t be this … disobedient and talkative. maybe i should do something about that, hm?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> marvin blinked sluggishly, the static making it hard for him to fully process anti’s words. it was only when anti pressed his knife against his throat that marvin realized, suddenly trying to get </em> <span class="u"> <em> away </em> </span> <em> from anti get </em> <span class="u"> <em> away </em> </span> <em> from his knife get out get free get somewhere </em> <span class="u"> <em> safe </em> </span> <em> — </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “an awful shame that i must do this,” anti whispered with faux sadness, his other hand reaching up to brush away the strand of hair that had fallen over marvin’s forehead, marvin flinching away from the gentle touch that made him feel </em> <span class="u"> <em> sick </em> </span> <em> . “but it’ll teach you a lesson, that the </em> <span class="u"> <em> puppet </em> </span> <em> listens to the </em> <span class="u"> <em> puppet master </em> </span> <em> and does not </em> <span class="u"> <em> question </em> </span> <em> him.” </em></p><p> </p><p><em> anti dug the knife deeper against marvin’s throat, and the next thing marvin knew, he was slumped over and gasping for air, blinding pain erupting from his neck. his neck felt wet with all the blood pouring out of it, the cool air of the room against the wound making him shudder and gag and gasp for air, he couldn’t get </em> <span class="u"> <em> enough </em> </span> <em> air, he couldn’t </em> <span class="u"> <em> breathe </em> </span> <em> — </em></p><p> </p><p><em> marvin coughed in between his gasps, barely noticing the blood coming out from his mouth as it splattered against his pants and the floor. it dribbled down his chin and mixed in with the blood against his neck, and marvin’s tongue felt heavy, as if the blood were too much and he was </em> <span class="u"> <em> drowning </em> </span> <em> in it and it kept bubbling up but felt as if it were seeping into his lungs and his chest felt tight and he couldn’t </em> <span class="u"> <em> breathe </em> </span> <em> he couldn’t fucking </em> <span class="u"> <em> breathe </em> </span> <em> he couldn’t move or defend himself he was </em> <span class="u"> <em> stuck </em> </span> <em> — </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “such a shame,” marvin could faintly hear anti murmur, and he coughed again, spitting out a mouthful of blood onto the floor at anti’s feet. everything was </em> <span class="u"> <em> spinning </em> </span> <em> around him, he still couldn’t catch his breath, he was going to pass out— “i don’t really </em> <span class="u"> <em> want </em> </span> <em> you to die just yet. you could still prove to be useful…” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> marvin felt something brush against his neck, and marvin gasped at the pain slowly ebbing away, vision slowly clearing as he continued to try and catch his breath. his arms suddenly felt weightless and he belatedly realized that anti had released him from his restraints. he slumped forward even further and fell out of the chair, laying on his side on the cold floor, confusion filling his mind as anti stepped back, sinister grin still on his face. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “enjoy finding a way out, kitty,” anti cooed, and marvin realized with dawning horror what anti had planned to do. “i’m curious to see if you’ll get out of here alive. in the meantime… maybe i should check on one of those friends of yours — chase, maybe? i haven’t </em> <span class="u"> <em> checked </em> </span> <em> on him in a while! perhaps he’ll get a visit from me </em> <span class="u"> <em> very </em> </span> <em> soon.” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> marvin watched as anti cackled and glitched away, leaving him alone in the cold, dimly lit room. marvin shakily lifted his hand, trying to concentrate as his hand glowed a soft blue — it had been a while since he had last used a healing spell, and he had never expected to use it again. he winced as he felt his wound close up bit by bit, knowing that he could barely do anything in this state. once he felt that his neck was closed sufficiently enough that he wouldn’t bleed to death, he concentrated on the telepathic links he had created with the others, trying to reach the one person he knew would reach him quickly. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘jackie?’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘marv? where the hell are you?! we’ve been worried sick!’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘an… ti.’ marvin’s eyes fluttered, trying to project as much as he knew about the area to jackie, who knew the city much better than the rest of them. ‘help…’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> he passed out to the frantic shouts of concern from jackie. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>and wakes up to his own silent screams, clawing at his throat as he heaves and gasps and tries to catch his breath.</p><p> </p><p>his neck feels as though it’s on <em> fire </em>, his voice stuck in his throat with no way of getting any sound out. marvin kicks off the covers, stumbling out of his bed and falling onto his hands and knees when the sheets tangle around his legs. he shakes and kicks them off, not registering in his minds that they were his bedsheets and thinking that it was anti dragging him back, anti taunting him, anti showing him that no one would come for him—</p><p> </p><p>marvin grips his throat with one hand and his hair with the other, greedily trying to breathe in some air but he keeps feeling it as it gets caught in his throat, his lungs restricting and his chest tightening. he curls in on himself, shaking with silent cries as he tries to catch his breath, his vision swimming with how frantically he’s trying to breathe.</p><p> </p><p>why does his hand feel wet? he shakily pulls his hand away from his neck, staring down at it in confusion. it looks — normal? but he blinks again and suddenly there’s blood coating his hand, slowly dripping down onto the floor, and his neck feels as though there’s some blood dripping down it as well. </p><p> </p><p>he’s dealt with this before, his occasional phantom pains of his neck being cut and hallucinations of the blood staining his hands and neck. usually, he’s been able to recognize that these are just hallucinations, that his brain’s fucking with him, but now he just just feels as though he’s <em> suffocating </em>.</p><p> </p><p>every time he blinks, the blood swims in and out of his vision despite his hand and neck feeling as though they’re <em> coated </em> with blood. the room’s spinning as he sits up, trying to get a bearing of his surroundings and not delve into a further panic. </p><p> </p><p>he pats the ground in front of him, flinching at the feeling at the cold hard wood and — carpet. that’s his carpet, isn’t it? he’s not trapped in some strange building with no way out, he’s in … his room? his hand hits something wooden — was that a night table? he reaches out blindly and feels the handle of a drawer and takes a deep breath. it’s his night table. he’s in his room. he’s not in some unknown location.</p><p> </p><p>what was that thing henrik had taught him and the others to calm down again? oh, that’s right — five… five things he can see. <em> okay </em> . okay, he can do that. marvin blinks and tries to focus on everything in front of him. there’s his — his night table, and his bed. there’s his shoes by the door. his coat is hanging off of the closet door handle. his — <em> his worry beads </em>!</p><p> </p><p>marvin snatches them from off of his night table, immediately beginning to play with them between his fingers. he takes another deep breath — okay. he’s fine. four things he can feel? that should be easy. <em> worry beads, carpet, c-cold wooden floor, his magic </em>—</p><p> </p><p>oh, how can he be so <em> stupid </em>? he has his magic! marvin lifts his hand and concentrates, attempting to spell colorful lights to dance along his ceiling in a calming manner. but he flinches back when he sees sparks of glitches come from his fingertips instead, breath hitching as he blinks at his hand again, only to see that there was nothing there. </p><p> </p><p><em> anti isn’t here </em> , he reminds himself, trying to calm his shaking. <em> if he had possessed you, the glitching wouldn’t have disappeared so quickly. it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. </em></p><p> </p><p>marvin takes a deep breath and attempts once more, relaxing a bit when reds and blues and yellows and greens begin to dance along the ceiling, the occasional light floating around him. he’s fine. his powers wouldn’t have worked if he had been possessed. </p><p> </p><p>what was next?— three things he can hear. <em> jackie’s snoring </em> — he must have come in late from patrol and been exhausted if he were snoring that loudly. <em> the ticking of his clock, and his heartbeat </em>. maybe he shouldn’t be hearing his heart beat so loudly, but it was something.</p><p> </p><p>two things he can smell — if he leans forward a bit, he can smell the fabric refresher that was sprayed onto his bedsheets. marvin focuses a bit more and is pleasantly surprised to be able to smell something like — vanilla? jameson must have come in and lit one of his vanilla candles before taking it, he <em> did </em> seem to like the smell of it.</p><p> </p><p>one more. one more, <em> god </em> , what was it — one thing he can taste? well, that was awfully easy, it was blood — <em> blood? </em></p><p> </p><p>marvin reaches up and swipes his fingers across his lips, pulling them away to find that his bottom lip <em> is </em> bleeding. he must’ve bit them too hard when he was panicking. still twisting the beads in his fingers, he conjures a washcloth and dabs at his lips carefully, ridding it of the blood.</p><p> </p><p>he hasn’t had that nightmare in a while. why did it come back now? </p><p> </p><p>marvin flinches at the sound of his door creaking open, panic beginning to settle within him once more as he scrambles up and backs away, arms up in defense. the person behind the door peeks in before slipping inside and shutting the door behind them, setting down something at marvin’s desk. marvin growls, baring his teeth at the intruder and hissing, “what do you want?”</p><p> </p><p>the person tilts his head curiously, and marvin’s mind immediately begins to think <em> anti anti anti </em>. “what the hell do you want now, anti?”</p><p> </p><p>the person flinches back, and somewhere in the back of his mind, marvin thinks, <em> anti doesn’t flinch </em> . but marvin’s wary, and he doesn’t put down his hands, magic swirling around them. the person lifts their own hands slowly, moving them in a particular way and marvin realizes they’re signing. what did they just say? <span class="u"> it’s jameson </span> <span class="u">?</span> that — that can’t be—</p><p> </p><p>“prove it,” marvin says lowly. he <em> wants </em>to believe it’s jameson, sweet little jamie, but he can’t help but be wary of the person in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>the person moves his hand to the desk and begins to do a knocking pattern, gaze never leaving marvin’s. <em> knockknock knock. knockknock knock. knockknockknockknockknock. knock knock. repeat. </em></p><p> </p><p>marvin slowly relaxes as the person — <em> jameson, it’s jameson, it’s truly jameson </em> — continues to play the pattern, hands falling to his side as he nods at jameson. jameson smiles softly at marvin, stopping the pattern and lifting his hands. <span class="u"> are you all right? </span></p><p> </p><p>“just… just a nightmare, jamie, no need to worry,” marvin sighs, running a shaky hand through his hair. ‘<em> you can speak with me telepathically, if you wish. no worries.’ </em></p><p> </p><p>jameson’s shoulders sag a bit with relief, and he picks up what he had set down. he motions towards it as he takes a few steps forward, marvin realizing it was a teacup. ‘<em> i brought you some tea. i felt your magic and thought you may have needed something to help you calm down. </em>’</p><p> </p><p>marvin smiles a bit and jameson moves to hand him the cup, before he notices something on the ground. he frowns and sets down the cup, picking up whatever he found — it seemed to be marvin’s phone — how had that gotten over there? ‘<em> oh dear. here you go, marvy. </em>’</p><p> </p><p>marvin reaches forward to take it from jameson — how <em> did </em> it get all the way across the room? — but as soon as he hand wraps around it, he’s flinching back and tossing onto his bed, backing away with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em>marvin? marvin, what’s wrong? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>it’s a strange thing, honestly, for the strangest things to evoke a memory within you. the phone reminded him of anti — he <em> swears </em>in the second he touched it, it had shocked him and glitched in his hands — but it felt… odd. it had a different amount of weight and pressure in his hand. it had felt as though he was clenching his fist around a knife—</p><p> </p><p>he stumbles back against his bookshelf and grips one of the shelves tightly, eyes wide as he stares blankly at his phone. why why <em> why </em> did <em> that </em> have to be the thing that made him remember and panic? his hand still felt heavy, as though the weight of a knife was still resting in it and taunting him with what he — no, <em> anti </em> — had done.</p><p> </p><p>jameson’s suddenly in front of him and marvin flinches back, shelves digging into his spine with how much he’s backed into it. jameson frowns at marvin in concern, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. ‘<em>are you alright? is something the matter? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>“i—” how can he tell jameson? how can he tell him that he still gets terrified every time there’s a knife pressed into his hands, even if it was just to help with cooking? how can he tell jameson that he still feels the sickening thrill from anti whenever the glitch made him raise a knife and sink it into someone’s body? that he knows the different sensations of if one were stabbing the chest, the arm, the leg, the neck— </p><p> </p><p>he can’t tell jameson that. hell, he hasn’t even told <em> henrik </em> about how he still remembers all that. henrik knows he was possessed, sure, they’ve shared their awful encounters with anti with one another — but henrik thinks that marvin’s like him, that he doesn’t remember the possession at all. but marvin <em> does </em> , and the feeling of it makes him want to <em> vomit </em> . he hates the feeling of a knife in his hand, or anything of a similar weight, he hates seeing it cut into something, he hates that he can still <em> see </em> and <em> feel </em> the blood staining his hands and clothes—</p><p> </p><p>there’s a few taps on his cheeks that suddenly jerks marvin back into reality, and he stares at jameson with wide, panicked eyes. jameson avoids the left side of his face, knowing that it’d remind him of anti dragging his knife down, and continues to tap marvin’s right cheek gently in a rhythmic pattern. <em> taptaptap taptap(pause) taptaptap(pause)tap tap. taptaptap taptap(pause) taptaptap(pause)tap tap.  </em></p><p> </p><p>morse code. safe. <em> safe. </em> </p><p> </p><p>marvin’s safe. jameson’s safe. henrik, jackie, and chase are safe. <em> safe. </em></p><p> </p><p>“i—” marvin clears his throat, mind still foggy as memories still race through his mind, albeit somewhat faded now. “i— i’m sorry, jameson. didn’t mean to startle you.”</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> that’s quite alright </em> ,’ jameson reassures, marvin relaxing a bit at jameson’s soothing voice filling his head. ‘ <em> why don’t we go sit on your bed and you can have that tea? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>marvin lets himself be led to his bed, jameson carefully sitting him down and moving his phone out of immediate view. as he goes to get the cup of tea, marvin looks down and blinks in surprised at the worry beads still in his hand. he unclenches his fist and winces at the grooves imbedded in his palm with how tightly he was gripping them.</p><p> </p><p>jameson gently sits down in front of him, handing him the cup and smiling sheepishly. ‘<em> it’s… a tad bit cold now, but it’s that mint tea you like. </em>’</p><p> </p><p>marvin smiles back, albeit somewhat weakly, and takes the cup from jameson carefully. he subconsciously assesses the weight of the cup in his hand and — different. it felt different. it didn’t have any similarity in weight to a knife, it felt heavier — it felt right, like how a full cup of tea should. </p><p> </p><p>jameson gently pries away the worry beads from marvin’s grip as marvin takes a sip, and marvin’s a bit grateful for that — he doesn’t doubt that he would accidentally dig the beads into his palm once more. jameson’s hand moves to marvin’s knee, continuing to tap out <em> safe </em> in morse code against his knee. ‘ <em> do you… want to talk about it? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>“not exactly,” marvin mumbles from around the rim of his cup, taking another sip. “it’s… not something i’d rather speak of. i don’t even talk about this with … with henrik.”</p><p> </p><p>jameson nods and doesn’t question it — they all know that if marvin says he hasn’t discussed it with henrik, or vice versa, they drop the subject and move on. jameson looks up at the ceiling with a tiny smile, and marvin looks up as well to see the lights still moving along the ceiling. ‘<em> would you like for me to play one of my records? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>“that’d be lovely,” marvin says quietly, gaze fixated on all the lights. “go ahead, jamie.”</p><p> </p><p>he feels jameson get up off the bed, and he continues to sip on his tea, trying to push away the intrusive memories. he hears a record scratch before music begins to play softly, and marvin can’t help but smile a bit. he usually plays music whenever he’s practicing his spells, and it draws all the others in at times to just relax. jameson had offered to bring in his record player at some point, since marin had expressed his love for some of jameson’s music, and they often relaxed with one another with what jackie teased as “old man music”.</p><p> </p><p>jameson sits back down in front of marvin, fiddling with his thumbs. ‘<em> can i get you anything else? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>“c’mere, jamie,” marvin mumbles, reaching out for jameson, who immediately scoots over and curls up against marvin. marvin wraps his arm around jameson, leaning back against the headboard, and whispers, “just — could we perhaps stay like this? it’ll help me… know you’re real and safe.”</p><p> </p><p>jameson nods — he doesn’t need to ask to know that marvin’s magic was subconsciously reaching out to the others to make sure that they were all safe in their rooms. jameson goes back to tapping out <em> safe </em> on marvin’s knee, leaning his head against marvin’s shoulder as marvin softly hums along to the music playing.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> i know that your nightmare was about anti </em> ,’ jameson suddenly muses, marvin jolting in surprise at his voice in his head. ‘ <em> oh, sorry. but it — it wasn’t hard to figure out. i will not pry, but we’re all safe and okay, and he hasn’t physically appeared in a while. </em>’</p><p> </p><p>marvin nods slowly, carefully setting his now empty cup down on the night table. anti <em> had </em> shown up that one night when henrik had come barging in, but neither of them had told the others to not make them as worried as marvin and henrik about it. “yes… he hasn’t. but i wouldn’t find it unusual if it was all just to prepare a sneak attack.”</p><p> </p><p>jameson pauses in his tapping before starting up once more. ‘<em> that is true. i also know you and henrik are hiding something from the rest of us. you were quite shaken up a while back. </em>’</p><p> </p><p>“how—?”</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> you never really have henrik be with you unless it’s a godawful nightmare </em>.’</p><p> </p><p>oh.</p><p> </p><p><em> fuck </em>, he’s forgotten how observant jameson can be at some points.</p><p> </p><p>“and if we were? hiding something, that is?”</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> then i know that it’s being hidden in order to protect the rest of us and not make us feel like everything has gone to shit once more </em>,’ jameson reassures, and marvin chuckles at the small swear, mumbling, “chase would have your mouth washed with soap for that if he could.”</p><p> </p><p>jameson rolls his eyes fondly, nudging his shoulder against marvin’s. ‘<em> oh, do shut your mouth. you’re lucky chase hasn’t heard you swear like a drunken sailor </em>.’</p><p> </p><p>“chase hasn’t heard you, the baby brother, swear like a drunken man either,” marvin points out, the heaviness in his chest already lifting bit by bit. “i still think you should not be allowed around whiskey.”</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> and i think you should settle back and try to relax </em> ,’ jameson counters with a raised eyebrow. ‘ <em> i won’t force you to sleep, but perhaps we could partake in some story-telling? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>“truly like a child,” marvin mumbles teasingly, pulling jameson a bit closer. “alright. what would you like to hear?”</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> go on and tell me about how jackie’s absolutely terrible at ice skating again. please? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>“oh dear, you truly love that one, don’t you?” marvin chuckles, leaning his head back and staring at the lights. even though there’s still the lingering presence of the memories and heavy feeling in his hands, jameson’s presence is enough to make him settle and feel calm for now. <em> safe </em>. “so, one morning, chase looked out the window and found the lake to be frozen over…”</p>
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